This will be a mixture of a vlog, diary entry, as well as an informative tarot post. I've been receiving a lot of messages from spirit and I've been fooling myself into believing these messages and my gifts are solely for self. I've done several spreads over the past week and a half and one message is screaming at me loud and clear, which made me feel compelled to write this blog. That message is to move on, to let go, and to embrace the transition with grace.
If you follow me on IG than you know how open I am about the daily rollercoaster that is me and my emotions and lately I been kind of going through it. Change is inevitable, and usually for our highest good, but that discomfort is what turns us off. I have been suffering the symptoms of enduring that discomfort and as much as I would like to run and hide, I can't escape this new journey and I have to submit to it.
Endings as well as new beginnings can be scary, you don't know what to expect, you don't know how to act, and in my case, when you jump out and go for it, you end up falling flat on your face. Not to worry, the beauty of falling on your face is that you get back up and your scrapes heal. You can create whatever you vision from there. Though you may need time to process, and refocus, you have the opportunity to manifest new blessings down the path life has created for you. Sometimes you fall off, but you will always find your way back to what is for you.
It's a beautiful thing to be experiencing the ugly endings and possible beautiful beginnings during this time period as the sun is in cancer, but more so as the new moon is in cancer during a solar eclipse. The eclipse's main theme is movement and transition. You've spent far too long holding yourself back due to fear. Maybe fear of failure, rejection, or even your own success, however it's time to go after your desires and to move into a period where you take complete ownership of your life. No matter what you may desire, if you feel a strong energetic pull to pursue it and it aligns with your life's vision, then you shouldn't fear it's potential.
Lucky for us we pulled cards today, receiving message from spirit on how to handle ourselves as we embark on this new journey and how best to handle the curveballs that will find us on the way. The change in life bring about blessings, however before the blessing, you will also be tested to see if truly prepared for the responsibility to come.
So this spread was a read. First of all, being someone who doesn't bother going after a sure thing is a sad life. You live in fear all the time, miss opportunities, and hate yourself for all of those missed connections you let walk out of your life. I hate that about myself so in growth, I said fuck it! Let's be a damn grown up. This was a the most best worst decision I've ever made. I'm secretly cringing at myself at all times now, however a whole cow is lifted off of my shoulder and I feel like so much better!
Before I came to this place of acceptance, I was going through it, feeling confused and foolish. I was consulting the cards constantly trying to see if maybe I had misread the messages the universe was presenting to me. Confusion is always present when a decision has to be made. In reality it shouldn't be confusing because theoretically there is either a right decision or wrong decision. In adulthood you aren't always sure what decision is the right decision or the wrong decision or you simply have to choose between dealing with two unfavorable outcomes and who wants to choose between that? The true problem arises when you fail to make a decision at all, now leaving you stuck in a chaotic limbo where your mind is constantly exploding because you're silently obsessing over freedom from your mental prison, that is only possible if you actively choose. Choosing and dealing with the consequences leads to the other side which leads to new opportunities.
These opportunities are exciting and appealing in great ways for you. So great that you put all of your energy and intent into focusing on this one thing. It's great to be so energetic and intent especially in relationship matters. It shows how serious and straight up you are about what it is that you want. Watch yourself with this pursuit, because you don't want to hit the pedal so quickly only to find that you have to immediately slam the breaks. You may be pursuing the right opportunity, but timing is everything. Get a feel for the vibe to see if it's giving the same image you have in your head in reality. People never move when and how we want them to move and circumstances change when our spirits need them to.
Beware of getting too caught up in the disappointment about not receiving the results you expected. Dwelling on what isn't too much may lead you to avoid was is. You don't want to grow bitter in your upset that you forget about the things that do matter.
Decisions, decisions are no fun. Decisions, decisions hurt someone.
It's never easy to choose, especially when others' feelings are involved, but sometimes it's inevitable and a need in order for the grass to grow greener on the other side. We have to go through pain and suffering at times, not just to know what true joy feels like, but more importantly, to know how to truly value ourselves and set the boundaries around us in which the outside world can and can't cross. The sun shines and rainbows form after a thunderstorm and smooshed cupcake is still just as sweet. Your trauma and damage does not devalue you in anyway so you must not fall victim to it. Realize you're power after trauma and know the same will be true for others who unfortunately get hurt by you living in your truth.
Though pain is inevitable and you have to do what must be done, be understanding if the person is ready to receive that message or they aren't immediately open to your feelings truly. People have their own feelings to deal with and though that is not your responsibility, it would be the right thing for you to do to show some compassion and love during their rough time.
You're already having a rough time as it is moving on and making the right decisions for your highest good and those involved with you. Don't let the pain and negative reactions to your decisions cause you to second guess your decisions. You didn't come to them lightly and you aren't foolish or knee-jerk. You fought tirelessly to finally accept what had to be, but sometimes as people when we are disappointed we hold on to our vision of what we wanted to be even if it isn't the reality of what is. Trust your intuitive nature and your ability to make sound, responsible decisions.