Since When Did No Become “Try Harder”?



I want to talk to my ladies because they can relate to this feeling...

its after dark and you had to make a run to your local corner store. Of course you walk because it’s right is the street, not even 10 minutes away, and you’ll be in and out. Nothing serious. You make it in the store and out with no problems. The store was empty and the transaction went as smooth as possible. What could you possibly have to be worried about?

And just like that, you remember why you get a paralyzing anxiety whenever you think to leave the comfort of your own home. These niggas hanging outside with nothing better to do, wanna “hey yo ma”, and “aye ‘scuse me...how yu doin’”, your poor self to death! A moment we all work our best at to avoid while navigating public spaces while woman. As soon as you reject his advances, no matter how many manners you manage to use, there’s always the same response. Hurt, wounded egos publicly shamed as well as denied his birth right to have whatever he wants whenever he wants however he wants because he is man! Hear him roar! As soon as he’s denied the access he believes is owed to him, he berates you with insults and lies so vile, he sprung from his guilty conscious. “Fuck you then, stupid bitch.” “Thats why you ugly and yo ass flat you stank hoe!” I could continue, but we’ve heard them all.

We honestly could share stories for years and years about how men approach us as object and not people. How we’re not allowed to make the decision to decline their advances withoht us being dumb, rude, or bitter. But one of the worst has to be the self proclaimed nice guys, the guys who don’t take no for an answer, or the guys who went unwanted for too long and now there’s something for them to prove.

It’s one thing to call me out of my name, but at least you’ve acknowledged my lack of interest. The audacity of a man to hear I don’t want him, know I don’t want him, or feel I don’t want him, yet and still he remains in my face trying to plead a case no lawyer would ever try for his tired ass. You know the type. They claim to be great guys, or a great catch. They’ve just what you’ve been missing in your life for things to finally turn around. There’s only one thing wrong out of it all...

THERE ISN’T SHIT ABOUT THEM THAT IS REMOTELY ATTRACTIVE OR INTERESTING. Yeah they may be decent but there’s no depth. And on the outside he may seem like a catch, but underneath the pretty smile and material wealth, he’s far from a man worth submitting to.

Men literally beg for your time like you were put on God’s green earth to service them while dragging through the mud as you hang on to the tailor their plethora of baggage. But God forbid, you opt out of the foolery before you’re sunken too deep to escape.

When I tell you no, it means exactly that. Not try harder or maybe at a later date. Self proclaimed nice guys aren’t that nice just entitled by their lack of popularity and passive aggression. Using guilt and shame to manipulate you away from following your true desires because maybe they’re the problem for you in the first place.

Men feel so entitled to women’s mental and physical energy that a simple “no thank you, I’m not interested,” is a game of cat and mouse. Don’t let his soft energy fool you either. The lack of overt aggression is just a tactic from his true demanding and forceful nature.

The problem in seeing women as property for male consumption has left them unable to interpret our rejections in their authenticity. It places the idea in their underused brains that woman could never not be interested. The options are only her being easy or simply requiring a little extra work. In their minds we serve no other purpose but to be used by them however they are fit and that can’t happen if we didn’t actually want them. Boy, is ignorance bliss.





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